THE SMACK DOWN ON THE PLAYA,
THE DENIAL IN THE DESERT,
THE COCK KNOCK AT BLACK ROCK,
FEATURING
LARRY "The Negotiator" Harvey and
SHERIFF Ron "Jiffy Lube" SKINNER
in the....
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For one night only, the WWE and Burning Man are proud to present...
THE SMACK DOWN ON THE PLAYA,
FEATURING |
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2001 was a tough year for the First Amendment in Black Rock City. In an almost eerie premonition of the tide of BLIND PATRIOTISM that would sweep the county in September, our very own, LARRY, "The Negotiator" HARVEY, caved into demands from the SHERIFF almost RE-ELECT, RON "Jiffy Lube" SKINNER after he BITCHSLAPPED Larry in Center Camp by CENSORING ART and being a typical sadistic, run of the mill BIGOTED HICK COP.
Larry's been training all year and World Wrestling EXTREME, in conjunction with Burningman LLC, are proud to present the MATCH OF THE CENTURY immediately following the Burn of the Man. This one promises to leave BURN SCARS for sure! Reserve your seats early and be there at stage center as Larry takes out a year's worth of frustration on Ron Skinner's closeted frustrated cop ass. |
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For most of the year, Sheriff RON "Jiffy Lube" SKINNER and his trusty sidekick/tag team partner, Joe, the "Indian Wonder Gimp" split their time between PUTTING THE HURT ON the large population of paroled ex-child molesters who live in rural Pershing County, BREAKING UP methamphetamine fueled domestic abuse calls, and SMACKING DOWN cattle that become trapped in the gulches and gullies in his county.
It's no surprise that Burningman is the highlight of RON's life and that he feels obliged to set the community standards of decency for the event. RON has a decent wife and a decent house and he's a decent AMERICAN. When there's homosexuals making art, Sheriff RON "Jiffy Lube" SKINNER is always there to enforce the powers invested in he by his BADGE and by God Almighty to make things RIGHT. He promises that when he wrestles and pins LARRY HARVEY's sweaty body to the mat in the WWE EXTREME GRUDGE CAGE MATCH he'll engage in some non-homosexual butt slapping and tea bagging to please the crowd and to humiliate LARRY. |
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LARRY HARVEY forever inscribed his name in the annals of WWE history with his breath-taking performance in the 1997-2001 BLM PERMIT SUMMERSLAM MATCHES where he and his tag team secured for BRC a place in the desolate wasteland No Mercy Pay-Per-View. LARRY is wrapped in the American Flag to defend that little thing called the FIRST AMENDMENT and he's rough and ready for the match.
Although Larry has several World Championship Titles under his belt, he remains always the stoic intellectual. Of this year's WWE EXTREME GRUDGE CAGE MATCH with SKINNER he says, "I don't want to create any bad blood between the LLC and the Pershing County Sheriff's Department, but I'm going to cornhole his tight, white, virgin asshole so hard he'll be walking funny until I bring my horde of satan worshipping homosexuals back in 2003." Harvey is not unrealistic though and, always "The Negotiator" says, "Aw shucks, I know he can make things difficult. I can kick his ass in the ring and have him over to Center Camp RV for Absinthe and an invigorating Salon about Ritual and Art afterwards. I mean, comon, we're all artists here, aren't we? Aren't we?" |